I’ve always been one to fast track everything, Never content with just sitting still. I’m even the crazy one to say “ I hate sleeping. it means I’m stagnant in life. It means I’m not moving forward.” And yes, I agree it is good to be goal driven and looking for a bigger brighter future. But man am I tired.
I’m tired of being patient. I have such big goals and dreams and am always conjuring up a way to get one more rung up the ladder… one step closer but its not happening as fast as I hope. I know I am destined for big things, I’ have been told this since I was old enough to smile and laugh. And regardless of who says that I know it deep in my soul that there is a big plan for my life. Maybe its a problem with my generation, the instant gratification. But on the other hand if your working hard, exploring every possible route known to you then is it really that horrible that you expect results?
I don’t know. I look at the careers of other artists and I am instantly excited for the future but why does the future seem so far away? I get so crazy excited when I land a job and I think it is the greatest thing in the world and then magically when it is over and it goes on the resume it becomes just another job… I want the next one, bigger, better. I’m so dam hungry for this world I live in. I’ve never been one for mediocrity. I am never happy if I’m doing something mediocre. I need that one step up, the spark, the pizazz! Ugh like a moth to a flame I need the fabulousness in my life at all times.
In the last couple months I had this realization… I used to think all people wanted to be “famous” or be “glam and fab” and that was just the human ego coming through but after coming to terms with myself and speaking to others I realized that’s not an across the board thing. And this really gives me comfort. I guess that’s another reason I love Charlotte Tilbury so much. She is in a behind the scenes trade but is a total glam and in front of the camera women. I really can relate to her a lot. I’m coming to terms with the fact that, being drawn the the glamour and the fabulousness doesn’t make me a vain person it makes me true to myself and even more self aware.
I’ve had some time to dable in each area of makeup artistry and I can say as much as I love them all and I do, I am totally drawn to beauty, glamour and would love to do celebrity red carpet and fashion makeup. It has really been a struggle for me to come to terms with my self about this but finally being honest and reflective with my self has been really beautiful. It’s kind of funny to me how I yearn more such fabulousness but getting me out of sweatpants and a messy bun is nearly impossible. LOL.
I created this blog to create almost a time capsule of my makeup artist adventure. I hope you join me as I try to navigate my way around, with one foot in Yorkville and the other in Queen w.